Thursday, December 31, 2009

concludes 2009~

finally, the year 2009 has come to an end
a lot things happened this year
yet, I can't really recall much of them actually

on this last day of 2009
received a very bad news

bad enough to spoil my first half of 2010
bad enough to broke me into pieces once again

I still don't know the truth about that news I received
but I certainly hope it's not real

anyway, about year 2009
well, life goes quite smooth in Aussie

my results aren't improving much
but at least staying at the level in my expectation

knew some more friends in uni
which make my life in Aussie aren't that bored anymore
but still, bored.. (duhh~~)

so what makes up my year 2009?
I would say it's a person

not one of my friends, not one of my family members
it's a special person I never thought I would have to chance to met

so perfect that I thought I fell in love with an angel
so many memories that I am not going to let it stay in 2009

instead, I'm going to bring those memories
leaping into year 2010, and so on, till the end of my life

this person made my 2009 so special
that I'm sure I am not going to forget this best year of mine
for the rest of my life

in the beginning, things were so great
although, things didn't went smooth for both of us
but still, those tears and laughter will stay with me
as a part of my sweetest memories that I will cherish

in 2010, my promise to you in 2009 still counts and still available
I'm going to repeat again now

I don't dare to hope for anything in return now
but at least when you meet any problems, are feeling not good
I'm always here for you

remember, when you need me
do not ask for permission, just hold my hands tight
cause I will let go of whatever I'm holding at that moment
to grab hold of your hands, and then never letting it go

well, this is the relationship part
there's more happenings in this year
but only this is important enough to be mentioned here

then about friendship
well, still the same old friends of course
Xii, Chee Wah, Bolo and Rue
thanks a lot for all your supports and companionship this year
thanks a lot for listening to me when I need someone to talk to
thanks a lot for being considerate and encouraging

it's the end of 2009
but I'm sure that our friendship ain't going to end
not in 2010, not in the following years either
It's going to stay forever

and now my family
well, thanks a lot to them of course
they've been working so hard to earn money
so this son of them can study overseas and have not much to worry about

appreciate everything, I never said it
cause well, as you all know, I'm not good at talking these sexy words
luckily I can still type and write well, pheeww..

well then
few hours later, it's time to say goodbye to the year 2009
and a big big HELLO to year 2010


















so, all the best to my friends, family, all the loved ones
stay happy in the new year, and I'll always love you all so much!! ^^

Happy New Year 2010!!!

以下是小小的一段话
自己写的,想送给那个重要的人:

我从来不曾计算我们在一起过了多少天
因为这样我们之间的爱情好像有个期限
我曾经相信我们之间的感情会是永远的

我从来不曾计算我们分开来过了多少天
因为这样我会觉得我离开你越来越遥远
我其实根本一刻都不会愿意让你离开我

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

stepping forward~

so long had I been waiting for
so long had I been desperate for your love

we've both been so good and sweet before
how could you just drop everything down so easily?

what are all those sweet memories to you?
rubbish? or just a bunch of nonsense?

I don't know why, and I don't understand why
but I just can't get you out of my mind

so disappointed when I knew that you can easily let go everything
3 months of love and care, means nothing to you

I don't look good, I don't have much confident on myself
but I got full confident that I can love you as long as I am alive

but you never bother to know what my heart says
you never bother to know who is the me deep down inside already

it's all about appearance
no more soul stuffs

this is a world full of reality
and it's time to accept the truth

my heart is cold, my mind stopped
there's no more love inside me

even if there really is any
I'm just going to give it to myself

until I met the next one
which might never happened

cause you're too special
cause you're too good to be true

everywhere I go I think of you
every people I met reminds me of you

everything I saw and did never matters
cause you're all over my mind

but up till now
your reaction towards all these makes my heart freeze

you don't want my heart, yet you took it away
and let nobody else have it

I'm drowned in your love
hard to breathe in the world without you

but so what?
I know you aren't coming back to me anymore

I don't pray for miracle
cause I'm too tired to even care about it

but I'm making you another promise
which might be the last one I made for you

if anytime, something happened
and you need me to stay by your side

remember, don't ask me for permission
you don't have to

you'll just take hold of my hands
and I'll let go of everything I'm holding at that moment

just to hold your hand tight
and then never ever let it go again

I'm giving up hope and love
but never ever giving up on you..



Saturday, December 19, 2009

星座~

不知从何时开始
突然开始很相信星座
突然开始很依赖星座

或许失去你的爱
让我茫然,失去方向
在原地打转,找不到出口

所以才指望借由星座
帮我找到继续向前走的方向

I've dreamed about you last night
doing all those thing that I've promised to do with you
TOGETHER

I still remembered how proud and glad I am
when I see you smile like an angel
giving me all the sunshine I need to nourish our love

I cried when I woke up
my heart feels so pain
when I realized all those were just a dream
and the fact is that, I'm losing you

what am I going to do now?
I've lost my way
I've lost the interest to fall deep in love
with somebody else

you've grab all my love away
you've took my whole heart and mind away
you've occupied every single breath of my life
yet, refusing to accept any of it

I miss you so much..















saw a special message yesterday, and would like to share it with everyone:

There is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it's no love. You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say "I love you because", for love has no cause.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

崩溃后的觉悟~

我不知道你现在对我的感觉是什么
我只想要你知道,我真的很爱你,一直以来都很爱很爱
没有想过要爱第二个人,更没有想过要那么快结束

我不知道你现在的心到底属于谁
我只想要你知道,如果真的有这么一个人
我很妒嫉他,很羡慕他,因为他拥有了世界上最棒的你

我不知道现在能让你笑,给你安全感的那个人是谁
我只想要你知道,我有多想代替他
继续让你灿烂微笑,继续让你感到安全,感到被保护

我不知道你现在是否过得开心
我只想要你知道,只要你过得开心,我至少也不会太难过
因为我的微笑和眼泪,来源都是你

我不知道你是否还愿意陪我去云顶玩
我只想要你知道,我对你做的一切承诺都还在
魔术表演和公仔,还有对你的爱,都还在等着你来领取

我不知道现在该怎么做才能挽回你
我只想要你知道,我愿意付出一切,牺牲一切
只为了换回你对我的信任还有依赖,还有你对我的爱

我知道我自己一直以来都不够好
但是我都在尽最大的能力
让你因为有我而感到光荣

此刻的我很茫然
虽然我知道继续等
或许会等不到任何结果
而自己也更有可能深受伤害

但我不懂为何
我的心再也容不下任何人
我的心给我的方向
就是你,那个我会一直等待着的你

再一次,对不起,但我真的很爱你,也很在乎你
你一定要过的快乐,因为你值得世界上最大的幸福
但我仍然希望,你的那份幸福,是由我来给到的

因为我知道,拥有过你的我
再也不想失去你了

我愿意做出承诺
别人说我这是甘心被爱情捆绑
但我觉得,背你牢牢捆绑住
就是幸福。。













好久没有听到你的声音了
很想念,真的很想念

好想你
我爱你。。

Monday, December 14, 2009

了断~

Status : Single but Unavailable, Waiting for Someone
Status : Single and Available, Ready for Next Relationship

好辛苦
撑不下去了吗?

我受够了
受够你的忽冷忽热
受够你的不理不睬

你说你对我还有感觉
但是我却已经感受不到你对我有任何的爱

连对我说话的语气都变了
没有以前的那种感觉
完完全全没有!

如果说这是重惩罚
我受够了!

我不想再为了一个未知的结局等下去
我之前愿意等
是因为我知道你最终的答案
一定是接受

但现在似乎不是了
我现在对你来说不再重要
你之前对我的依赖感
也彻彻底底没有了

我现在看到的就只有一堆敷衍
我们连朋友都不是

我已经失去信心
对你,对我自己,对我们的感情
失去信任

如果这一切只是为了报复
那你可以停止了
因为你已经赢了!
我现在已经彻底崩溃
我现在已经粉身碎骨

如果我只是你的一个傀儡
那你成功把我控制住了
我现在对你的感觉太深了
就因为这样,现在的我
就好像被千刀刺入心般折磨

如果我只是你有困难的时候
帮助你的人
那你也得到我能给的所有帮助了

这番话
很恶毒
但我现在的思想真的一团糟

我之前不太敢说
因为我一直很坚持,很固执的相信
我们一定还有可能

但现在,我已经完全没有这种信心
我真的很辛苦了

与其继续辛苦下去
倒不如先在了断一切

长痛不如短痛
与其让我踩得更深的时候
才承受是去你的痛苦
倒不如就趁现在让我五雷轰顶
让我一次过崩溃痛苦

但做任何决定之前
我想知道你的想法和感觉
因为现在的我
已经完全猜不透,也看不透了

你不愿意说
也不愿意让我说
我也不懂该怎么办
因为我真的不知道你做所有事情的企图

猜测不了
更不敢猜测
深怕有任何错误
我们的感情就毁了

这件事对我来说太重要
你对我来说太重要
我不想失去你
更不想对这段感情乱抉择

到现在为止
我还是把你放在第一位
我做任何决定
都还是想考虑你
因为,我真的太爱你了

我还是可以等
我更一定会继续爱
但我没有安全感,更没有肯定感

我该等多久?
永远吗?
还是等到见面那一天
如果你不喜欢,就直接拒绝我?

一边等你
一边让你从我指缝中溜走吗?

你之前说
要我给你时间,慢慢接受我
要我等

但打从一开始
我对你来说就已经什么都不是了
是吧?

如果你不想谈爱情
又何必让我等?何必叫我等?
让我像个一厢情愿的傻瓜
像一个白痴般默默等候

现在
谁是骗子了?



















好好的过-戴佩妮 

你还要折磨自己多少天 
失眠这几夜 你都用泪洗脸

你还要崩溃多少天 
别继续深陷 他的泥沼里面

别搞的自己很可怜 
别老想做出那些失去理智的事 很危险

* 失恋算什麽 我曾失恋过
  失恋过的我 还不是这样的过

  寂寞算什麽 我曾寂寞过
  寂寞过的我 还不是这样的过

# 我曾经恨过 曾经哭过 曾被忽略过
  我曾经潦倒过 我曾经迷失过

  我曾经爱过 曾经笑过 曾经快乐过 
  我曾经疯狂过 我曾经拥有过 那就够了

* 失恋算什麽 谁没失恋过
  失恋过的我 要怎样的过

  寂寞算什麽 谁没寂寞过
  寂寞过的我 要自己好好的过
  要好好的过 一定要好好的过 好好的过

Sunday, December 13, 2009

孤单心事~

心情好矛盾,好忐忑
有很多话想说
但是却不懂该怎么说出口

所以这次
就让这首歌
帮我诉尽心头事。。 

孤单心事-蓝又时

雨下在我窗前 玻璃也在流眼泪
街上的人都看起来 比我幸福一点
 

用寂寞来测验 还是最想要你陪
曾一起走过的夏天 我常常会梦见
 

我猜不到你真正的感觉
思念写成脸上的黑眼圈
有的时候我宁愿 你对我坏一点
无法停止幻想我们的永远


* 爱你是孤单的心事 不懂你微笑的意思
  只能像一朵向日葵 在夜里默默的坚持
 

  爱你是孤单的心事 多希望你对我的诚实
  一直爱着你 用我自己的方式
 

我在你的心里 有没有一点特别
就怕你终究没发现 我还是在你身边

Thursday, December 10, 2009

沙巴日记~

回来一段时间了
重新习惯了这里的生活
人,事,物
渐渐找到了生活的步伐

现在的日子
虽然过得几乎千篇一律
但还是偶尔会有一些乐趣
比在澳洲的孤单
好了很多

昨天晚上和菠萝
去见了庄老头和阿如

虽然几乎一年没见
但看到的时候
还是由那种亲切感
完全没有疏远的感觉

菠萝一回来不久就见到了
还是一样高高瘦瘦的
但是更有女人味了

阿如瘦了哦
而且变漂亮了
但性格还是那么好

至于庄老头嘛
说话还是那么欠扁
但整个人比之前成熟稳重了很多

唱了一个晚上的歌
拼命叫食物吃
谈天叙旧,聊聊近况
还有被逼问一些变态的问题(汗颜啊!)
突然心中有种感觉:久违了,跟知心朋友聚在一起的乐趣!

现在就少了一个郑小姐
过几天她回来
一定要强迫她再去唱歌!
哇哈哈哈!

剩下的事情嘛
就只有普通两个字能概括了

对了
圣诞节要到了

这个我个人最喜爱的节庆
充满浪漫和温暖气息的节日

该怎么样过?
我还真得还不知道
总之,我一定要去看到时候上映的
《 Alvin and The Chipmunks 2 》!



















至于其他的计划
迟点再算吧
现在先好好感受
越来越浓郁的圣诞气氛

就像我常说的一句话
对于一些事情来说
临时动议,永远都是最有效率的!
哈哈!

Friday, December 4, 2009

bla bla bla~

finally, back at Sabah..
well, what can I say then?
Xii told me to update my blog, so here I am

but I really don't know what to write anyway
there are something bothering me these while
but I just don't know how should I express it out

first of all, the feeling of coming back home
well, i did used quite a while to get used to it again
since it's been almost a year since my last time back at Sabah

most of the place is still the same
lame electricity service
lame driver on the road
lame weather, lame smell and lame people
but well, that's what my home look like
if those things aren't lame, I'll have weird feelings

it's been a week I'm staying at home
didn't go else where much
cause even if I have to find Bolo, she's here at Tuaran also

cause most of my friends aren't back here yet
wait till next week, and the following weeks
when chee wah, ah rue, xii are come back for holidays
we'll gather like crazy!!

and by the way
I'm still planning on the Senior 3 Xin class reunion
still in the process, hopefully it would success

I just hope that once in a while
we can gather around together

so that when we meet again after next 5 or 10 years
it wouldn't be just a simple "Hi" and a smile
then walk away
that would feels so awful!!

by the way, I've been busy all these while too
working, planning for the gathering


















well, i guess that's all I've to say
Xii!! Uncle Chi Hua Hua!! Rue!!
Fan Loi lo~~~~~
Bian Bian & Bolo can't wait already~~~~

muahaha, anyway..
happy holidays!!
and most importantly..
HOME SWEET HOME~

2009下半年超经典的语录(下)~

1、人干点好事总想让神鬼知道,干点坏事总以为神鬼不知道,我们太难为神鬼了。

2、世界上最可怕的两句话;一句是,“我这么爱你,你为什么不爱我?”还有一句是,“我这都是为你好。”
 
3、初中的体育老师说:谁敢再穿裙子上我的课,就罚她倒立。
 
4、以前,世界这么乱,小女子怎么混呢;现在嘛,小女子这么乱,世界怎么混呢?

5、不能把钱带进坟墓,但钱却可以把人带进去。

6、真爱就像幽灵,人人都谈论它,可却从未有人真正见过它。

7、这世界上最遥远的距离,不是天涯海角,也不是生死别离;而是我身在祖国,却不知道祖国在发生什么。

8、寂寞就是有人说话时,没人在听;有人在听时,你却没话说了!

9、时间是最好的老师;但遗憾的是,最后他把所有的学生都弄死了。

10、男人的话就像老太太的牙齿,有多少是真的?

11、生存是什么?生存就是不择手段的活着。

12、现在不玩命,将来命玩你。

13、一个人的死是一个悲剧,千百万人的死却仅仅是个统计数字。

14、一分钟有多长?这要看你是蹲在厕所里面,还是等在厕所外面。

15、真正的流浪与漂泊是,你没有可以回去的地方。

16、我的墓志铭:陪聊,提供夜间上门服务。

17、我们最大的情敌,不是第三者,而是岁月。

18、我最想做你的一颗牙齿。因为这样,至少你没有我的时候,你会疼。

19、对你微笑,纯属礼貌。

20、地铁上的广告:挤吗?买辆车吧!出租车上的广告:堵吗?坐地铁吧!

21、A:我大姨妈刚走。 B:哦,最近车票不大好买吧?

22、4年没见到老婆了,她去年给我生了个大胖小子,真想回家看看啊。

23、一北京人叹道:北京的地铁真挤,上周一孕妇被挤流产了。上海人不削的说:上海的地铁才叫挤,去年一少女被挤怀孕了。

24、一女的问我,她长得怎么样。我说她很纯洁,就算活到一百岁也会是个处女。

25、人生有两大悲剧:一个是得不到想要的东西,另一个是得到了不想要的东西。