dilemma~

I'm afraid, it's time to move on
I am sure it would be hard and suffering
but I don't have any reason at all to stay anymore

it seems like I no longer means anything to you
and I would only look stupid to let you know
how crazy am I towards you, up till now

you're happiness is not going to be about me
you're laughter and sweetness is not going to be about me
even your disappointment and sadness aren't going to be about me anymore

I will try to leave
my heart beat stopped

what is love?
I never knew, and never want to know anymore

this would be the part in my heart
that I would never dare to touch again
well, at least not in a short period

you know how much influence you are to me?
you know how disappointed am I
when you say the reason you stopped everything
is because you don't want to think about love
but at the other hand
you fell in love with somebody else so soon?

I used to be angry
but not anymore
all these feeling towards you
is best left untouched in my heart

It'll still be very deep when touched
but I won't feel that feeling anymore
not even once

cause every time all these memories are played back
I'll only end up in terrible pain, and keep on crying

I used to said I want you to regret all these
I'll prove it, and the time will help me prove it

well, up till now
there's no more such thoughts

I never want to know how are you doing anymore
never want to know whether you're crying or laughing
never want to care and bother anymore

Goodbye, for the last time..
take care, and stay happy..

you'll still stay in my heart and mind
but you'll be deep down inside
in a part where I would never touch or think about

my promise still counts
but if you never want to claim it back
then I'll never remember

you're the only way to remind me of all these
you want it back? come take it back

I can't said I'm waiting
but at least I wouldn't give up on you, never ever..

Pheww..back to life in hometown Sabah..well, still, nothing much to say since life had been all the same all these while..just same old activities with some occasionally surprise or gathering with friends and family..

well, there's one more thing actually..had been processing for few months but it's only the first time I mentioned it in my blog..I'm moving to a new house soon!! ^^ I'm currently staying on the 2nd floor of my shop in Tuaran, which is a shop-lot of decades history..

soon..I'll be moving out, still in Tuaran but its a terrace instead..it's an area with quite a lot familiar faces in the neighborhood..and we're all working on the renovation currently..having fun designing my own room, going to make it blue color series..muahahaha!! ^^

anyway, life seems to run quite a bit dry back at here..maybe this 3 months holiday is really too long for me..suddenly misses the life back in Aussie..simple uni life, winter season..good days..

someone told me it's a sign of depression..(well, this remind me of some of the good days with someone else.. ><) but yea, everyone will got some emo period..staying alone and thinking bout lots of stuffs..both meaningful ones and meaningless ones..

so, what's for next few weeks? I guess it's the Chinese New Year we've all been anticipating so much..and till then, life will just keep on getting dry and bored..but however, there's still some part of this holiday I'm enjoying..so, happy holidays to those having holiday, and all the best for those having exams soon or still in their semester.. ^^ ciaozzz~~~

(P.S. it's been quite a while since my last Chinese post..I guess I ran out of new and creative Chinese words to be used..haha, maybe one day I'll end up running our of English vocab and start blogging using our dear own Bahasa Malaysia.. @@ )